This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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