Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
