Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
