JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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