i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
