jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
