the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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