it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
