Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
