he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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