After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
