just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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