im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
