WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
