i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
