so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you inspire me to be a worse person
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
