That's intense
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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