i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
be right there i have to get my cape
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
