We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
