she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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