Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
