oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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