We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
