Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
