She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
