I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
