I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
