Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
