This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
