Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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