We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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