just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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