I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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