He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
