I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
