I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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