if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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