I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
