all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
