with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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