So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
