school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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