What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
