New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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