It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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