apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
