I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
