I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
