Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I supernannyed him into submission
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
