Dual....:-)
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
