Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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