Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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