Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
