i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
